Golf is F$%king Awesome!

Course I’m bleary eyed bitch i’ve been hittin the MOET bottle just like i tossed...

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 16:44:25 -0500

Course I’m bleary eyed bitch

i’ve been hittin the MOET bottle

just like i tossed around yankees

my foot on the throttle

Spent 3 days straight MAC’in

at Celtic Manor Resort

everything I threw at Pavin and Co

No fuckin retort

Turned the golf world on to cardys

when I won it at the Beach

Callaway painter cap on tilt

Stuburt kicks outta reach

I’m the affable lad from Portrush,

drink you under the bar

leave the club with 2 bimbos

i’m a fuckin rock star

Between the Open and the Ry Cup

Americans, they should hate me

but the dudes wanna high five

and the chicks wanna date me

Guest spot on Entourage,

Leno? Not a bad gig

European Team cheerleader

in my McIlroy wig

Between Westwood and Paddy and all of my bubs

We ran ‘em straight outta Guinness

in Monterey’s pubs

So I got a mansion in Isleworth

a card on the PGA Tour

and went to school in Alabama

remind me who I’m playing for?

2010 was my year man,

i’m the hottest thing on bent grass,

I just can’t seem to pull that four leaf clover

out of my ass

I’m a quiet lad from the midwest with a killer instinct baby these Oakley Flak...

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 15:34:18 -0500

I’m a quiet lad from the midwest

with a killer instinct baby

these Oakley Flak Jackets

drive the groupies crazy

But i keep it on the straight

Bible verses are rawww

Love tech fabrics and football

and a low little draw

Yeh I won the fuckin Masters

Won’t apologize for my behavior

I put on that green jacket

and thanked my lord and savior

there must be something in the water

on st simons for real though

cuz jesus is our homeboy

and style is our steelo

we got j byrd and stewie and davis and kooch

Lil J juice on Sundays - only time i sip hooch

from Drake to Buy.com, i kept improvin’, naw mean?

and i played on the Hooters, but kept my nose clean

top 20 in the world

and 7 wins of that pga steeze

i’m on my way to st. aug, bitch

this shit is a breeze

thats the world golf hall of fame

i’m just comin’ correct for the layman

ZJ rollin’ in dough

i make Green like Damon

i’m the f$%king king of putters scotty the kid see that block of milled steel? BAM! look at...

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 13:56:00 -0500

i’m the f$%king king of putters

scotty the kid

see that block of milled steel?

BAM!

look at what I just did

Newports and Sonomas

Circle T’s and Red X’s

i whisper “terillium” in bitches ears

then we be havin’ the sexxxes

i’m the Armani of bent grass

The Versace of the moss

check out that WORKS headcover

b&%ch you know what it costs

I run the eBay scene,

Studio Series, brother

your son would walk into traffic

for a Hula girl headcover

But I’m a cali dude at heart

tasty waves, always sunny

Wally called me in ‘94

and said let’s get this damn money

since then i haven’t slept,

it’s been a flat stick barrage

every pro in the world

got one of mine in their garage

People call me a guru

golf’s sensai in overalls,

i’ll just keep makin badass clubs

remember to bring your balls…

I’m a fashion model no a golfer with a fantastic chin my name is el hombre arana i have more...

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 23:43:00 -0500

I’m a fashion model

no a golfer

with a fantastic chin

my name is el hombre arana

i have more abs than wins

from the world’s capital of cartels and blow

i’m a walking, talking, swinging runway show

tiger wants my muscles

women want my bod

i attack my Titleist

then a wave and a nod

I won the Honda this year

Acushnet tried to nix me

but its me that’ll be laughing

at my dope new 360’s

Cuz I’m rollin with with the fellas at TM/Adidas

My boy Sergio begged me, like “homie, we need this!”

Used to wear Lindeberg’s wildest

dudded out in pink slacks

now i rock black and white only

and my socks always match

Back in Gainesville

i was a shy little dude

I had mild OCD

and never was rude.

Now I’m a bad boy,

more fuel than a jeep

Between Cafe and Red Bull

No wonder I can’t ever sleep

People say i’m too cocky

the anna kournikova of golf

but i’ll be fucking smiling

when my movie career takes off

What’s that on the green? Is it a bird or Ian P? Oh that’s just young Mr....

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 20:14:33 -0500

What’s that on the green?

Is it a bird or Ian P?

Oh that’s just young Mr. Fowler,

he’s color blind, he can’t see

How else could one explain his many shades of melon?

Seemingly endless and endlessly selling.

JD in the ‘Mouth

Doug Sanders’ canary

Rickies outshined them all and it’s only Friday, that’s scary…

But the kid is long on game

like he’s long on sex appeal,

Made clutch putts at the Manor,

gave the Euros blue steel.

Top 30 in the world,

with the best head of lettuce,

your daughter’s got his poster and he only just met us

Within a sniff of the Kodak,

the medias ready to pounce

He’s headed to Disney,

Hoping to knock boots with the Mouse

The only question remaining

and i guess it’s one for his mother

Mrs fowler does rickie

have underwear in THAT color??

I’m the first hipster golfer bitches call me ry moore only dude you know wearing gingham...

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 19:25:20 -0500

I’m the first hipster golfer

bitches call me ry moore

only dude you know

wearing gingham on tour

got tight pants and tight game

no sponsor cuttin me checks

That’s right I got Scratch on the lid

21st in the FedEx

When I’m not hangin in Vegas

I’m trimming my beard

Don’t forget I rocked headbands

That was a bit weird

I’m the anti-Tim Finchem

The logoless man

I’m a bit like Bob Jones

Sans shower, plus Vans

When I rolled into Augusta

in a bdown and ties

every golf fan wanted to blow me

even the guys

But i’m a mild mannered fella

livin my dream, gettin better

wish I could’ve gone to Wales

I look great in purple sweaters…